We like to think that DukeFest is educational as well as fun, so here’s the Top 5 things we learned this year!

1) Hamma Horra taught us that there’s only one person to call if you’ve got legal trouble: Mark Jones!

2) 23 Wolves taught us how to tell if our kids are involved in a Satanic Cult!

3) Deeper Understanding taught us the one most vital question to ask when dealing with those pesky Evolutionsists! “Excuse me Mr. Scientist, where you there?”

4) Grimy Ghost help us answer the question: “Are there animals in Heaven?”

5) And finally Rem Lazar filled us in on how to get street smart with the help of Kareen Abdul-Jabbar!

What did you learn at DukeFest?